Three Californian surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in California. My favorite case, a concert pianist lost several fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them and two years later he won a gold medal in track and field events at the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's hair and the horse's ass.
I was able to put them together and now she's
Speaker of the House."
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Read My Lips...Cut the Budget!
20 April 2009Editor,
U.S. News & World ReportDear Editor:
You report that President Obama today "challenged" his cabinet to "cut the budget by $100 million" ("Obama to Cabinet: Cut $100 Million from Budget," April 20). What courage. A President who proclaims the importance of making "hard choices" calls upon his government to trim away a whopping one thirty-six-thousandth of its projected expenditures for the year - or, alternatively reckoned, one twelve-thousandth of its projected budget deficit.To put this budget "cut" in perspective, suppose that the typical American family, earning $50,000 annually, plans this year to run a budget deficit proportionate to the deficit that Uncle Sam will run. Such a family would plan to spend $75,000. Now suppose that this family, seeking to signal its faux-commitment to financial prudence, promises spending cuts equal, in proportion to its budget, to the cuts announced today by Mr. Obama.
This family would declare - surely with much fanfare - that it will reduce its planned expenditures by $2.09! Perhaps it might promise to survive the year with one less gallon of gasoline or with one less cup of coffee.
You report that President Obama today "challenged" his cabinet to "cut the budget by $100 million" ("Obama to Cabinet: Cut $100 Million from Budget," April 20). What courage. A President who proclaims the importance of making "hard choices" calls upon his government to trim away a whopping one thirty-six-thousandth of its projected expenditures for the year - or, alternatively reckoned, one twelve-thousandth of its projected budget deficit.To put this budget "cut" in perspective, suppose that the typical American family, earning $50,000 annually, plans this year to run a budget deficit proportionate to the deficit that Uncle Sam will run. Such a family would plan to spend $75,000. Now suppose that this family, seeking to signal its faux-commitment to financial prudence, promises spending cuts equal, in proportion to its budget, to the cuts announced today by Mr. Obama.
This family would declare - surely with much fanfare - that it will reduce its planned expenditures by $2.09! Perhaps it might promise to survive the year with one less gallon of gasoline or with one less cup of coffee.
Who would take such a gesture to be anything other than audaciously insulting sarcasm by the chronically irresponsible?
Sincerely,
Donald J. Boudreaux Chairman, Department of Economics
George Mason University Fairfax, VA 22030
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Truth or Dare...Terrorists Plan Next Move.....
Juval Aviv was the Israeli Agent upon whom the movie' Munich ' .. He was Golda Meir's bodyguard -- she appointed him to track downand bring to justice the Palestinian terrorists who took the Israeliathletes hostage and killed them during the Munich Olympic Games. In a lecture in New York City afew weeks ago, he shared information that EVERY American needs to know --but that our government has not yet shared with us.
He predicted the London subway bombing on the Bill O'Reilly show on Fox News stating publicly that it would happen within a week. At the time, O'Reilly laughed and mocked him saying that in a week he wanted him back on the show. But,unfortunately, within a week the terrorist attack had occurred.
Juval Aviv gave intelligence (via what he had gathered in Israel and the Middle East) to the Bush Administration about 9/11 a month before it occurred. His report specifically said they would use planes as bombs and target high profile buildings and monuments.. Congress has since hired him as a security consultant
Juval Aviv gave intelligence (via what he had gathered in Israel and the Middle East) to the Bush Administration about 9/11 a month before it occurred. His report specifically said they would use planes as bombs and target high profile buildings and monuments.. Congress has since hired him as a security consultant
Now for his future predictions.
He predicts the next terrorist attack on the U.S.Will occur within the next few months.
Forget hijacking airplanes, because he says terrorists will NEVER try and hijack a plane again as they know the people onboard will never go down quietly again. Aviv believes our airport security is a joke -- that we have been reactionary rather than proactive in developing strategies that are truly effective.
Forget hijacking airplanes, because he says terrorists will NEVER try and hijack a plane again as they know the people onboard will never go down quietly again. Aviv believes our airport security is a joke -- that we have been reactionary rather than proactive in developing strategies that are truly effective.
For example:
1) Our airport technology is outdated. We look for metal, and the new explosives are made of plastic.
2) He talked about how some idiot tried to light his shoe on fire. Because of that, now everyone has to take off their shoes. A group of idiots tried to bring aboard liquid explosives. Now we can't bring liquids on board. Hesays he's waiting for some suicidal maniac to pour liquid explosive on his underwear; at which point, security will have us all traveling naked! Every strategy we have is reactionary.
3) We only focus on security when people are heading to the gates.Aviv says that if a terrorist attack targets airports in the future, they will target busy times on the front end of the airport when/where people are checking in. It would be easy for someone to take two suitcases of explosives, walk up to a busy check-in line, ask a person next to them their bags for a minute while they run to the restroom or get adrink, and then detonate the bags BEFORE security even gets involved. In Israel, security checks bags BEFORE people can even ENTER the airport.
Aviv says the next terrorist attack here in Americais imminent and will involve suicide bombers and non-suicide bombers in places where large groups of people congregate. (I. E., Disneyland, LasVegas casinos, big cities (New York, San Francisco, Chicago, etc.) and that it will also include shopping malls, subways in rush hour, train stations,etc., as well as rural America this time (Wyoming, Montana, etc.). The attack will be characterized by simultaneous detonations around the country (terrorists like big impact), involving at least 5-8 cities, including rural areas. Aviv says terrorists won't need to use suicide bombers in many of the larger cities, because at places like the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, they can simply valet park a car loaded with explosives and walk away.
Aviv says all of the above is well known in intelligence circles, but that our U. S. Government does not want to 'alarm American citizens' with the facts.. The world is quickly going to become 'a different place', and issues like 'global warming' and political correctness will become totally irrelevant. On an encouraging note, he says that Americans don't have to be concerned about being nuked. Aviv says the terrorists who want to destroy America will not use sophisticated weapons. They like to use suicide as afront-line approach. It's cheap, it's easy, it's effective; and they have an infinite abundance of young militants more than willing to 'meet their destiny'.He also says the next level of terrorists, over which America should be most concerned, will not be coming from abroad. But will be,instead, 'homegrown' -- having attended and been educated in our own schools and universities right here in the U.. S. He says to look for'students' who frequently travel back and forth to the Middle East ..
Aviv says the next terrorist attack here in Americais imminent and will involve suicide bombers and non-suicide bombers in places where large groups of people congregate. (I. E., Disneyland, LasVegas casinos, big cities (New York, San Francisco, Chicago, etc.) and that it will also include shopping malls, subways in rush hour, train stations,etc., as well as rural America this time (Wyoming, Montana, etc.). The attack will be characterized by simultaneous detonations around the country (terrorists like big impact), involving at least 5-8 cities, including rural areas. Aviv says terrorists won't need to use suicide bombers in many of the larger cities, because at places like the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, they can simply valet park a car loaded with explosives and walk away.
Aviv says all of the above is well known in intelligence circles, but that our U. S. Government does not want to 'alarm American citizens' with the facts.. The world is quickly going to become 'a different place', and issues like 'global warming' and political correctness will become totally irrelevant. On an encouraging note, he says that Americans don't have to be concerned about being nuked. Aviv says the terrorists who want to destroy America will not use sophisticated weapons. They like to use suicide as afront-line approach. It's cheap, it's easy, it's effective; and they have an infinite abundance of young militants more than willing to 'meet their destiny'.He also says the next level of terrorists, over which America should be most concerned, will not be coming from abroad. But will be,instead, 'homegrown' -- having attended and been educated in our own schools and universities right here in the U.. S. He says to look for'students' who frequently travel back and forth to the Middle East ..
These young terrorists will be most dangerous because they will know our language and will fully understand the habits of Americans; but that we Americans won'tknow/understand a thing about them. Aviv says that, as a people, Americans are unaware and uneducated about the terrorist threats we will, inevitably, face. America still has only have ahandful of Arabic and Farsi speaking people in our intelligence networks,and Aviv says it is critical that we change that fact SOON.
So, what can America do to protect itself?
So, what can America do to protect itself?
From an intelligence perspective, Aviv says the U.S.needs to stop relying on satellites and technology for intelligence. We need to, instead, follow Israel 's, Ireland 's and England's hands-on examples of human intelligence, both from an infiltration perspectiveas well as to trust 'aware' citizens to help. We need to engage and educate ourselves as citizens; however, our U. S. government continues to treat us,its citizens, 'like babies'. Our government thinks we 'can't handle the truth' and are concerned that we'll panic if we understand the realities of terrorism. Aviv says this is a deadly mistake. Aviv recently created/executed a security test for our Congress, by placing an empty briefcase in five well-traveled spots in f ive major cities.
The results? Not one person called 911 or sought a policeman to check it out. In fact, in Chicago , someone tried to steal the briefcase!
In comparison, Aviv says that citizens of Israel are so well 'trained' that an unattended bag or package would be reported in seconds by citizen(s) who know to publicly shout, 'Unattended Bag!' The area would be quickly & calmly cleared by the citizens themselves. But, unfortunately, America hasn't been yet 'hurt enough' by terrorism for their government to fully understand the need to educate its citizens or for the government to understand that it's their citizens who are, inevitably, the best first-line of defense against terrorism.
Aviv also was concerned about the high number of children here in America who were in preschool and kindergarten after 9/11,who were 'lost' without parents being able to pick them up, and about our schools that had no plan in place to best care for the students untilparents could get there. (In New York City, this was days, in some cases!)
He stresses the importance of having a plan, that's agreed upon within your family, to respond to in the event of a terrorist emergency. He urges parents to contact their children's schools and demand that the schools, too, develop plans of actions, as they do in Israel. Does your family know what to do if you can't contact one another by phone? Where would you gather in an emergency? He says we should all have a plan that is easy enough for even our youngest children to remember and follow. Aviv says that the U.. S. government has in force a plan that, in the event of another terrorist attack, will immediately cut-off EVERYONE's ability to use cell phones, blackberries, etc., as this is the preferred communication source used by terrorists and is often the way that their bombs are detonated. How will you communicate with your loved ones in the event you cannot speak? You need to have a plan. If you believe what you have just read, then you must feel compelled to send to every concerned parent or guardian, grandparents, uncles, aunts, whatever and whomever.
In comparison, Aviv says that citizens of Israel are so well 'trained' that an unattended bag or package would be reported in seconds by citizen(s) who know to publicly shout, 'Unattended Bag!' The area would be quickly & calmly cleared by the citizens themselves. But, unfortunately, America hasn't been yet 'hurt enough' by terrorism for their government to fully understand the need to educate its citizens or for the government to understand that it's their citizens who are, inevitably, the best first-line of defense against terrorism.
Aviv also was concerned about the high number of children here in America who were in preschool and kindergarten after 9/11,who were 'lost' without parents being able to pick them up, and about our schools that had no plan in place to best care for the students untilparents could get there. (In New York City, this was days, in some cases!)
He stresses the importance of having a plan, that's agreed upon within your family, to respond to in the event of a terrorist emergency. He urges parents to contact their children's schools and demand that the schools, too, develop plans of actions, as they do in Israel. Does your family know what to do if you can't contact one another by phone? Where would you gather in an emergency? He says we should all have a plan that is easy enough for even our youngest children to remember and follow. Aviv says that the U.. S. government has in force a plan that, in the event of another terrorist attack, will immediately cut-off EVERYONE's ability to use cell phones, blackberries, etc., as this is the preferred communication source used by terrorists and is often the way that their bombs are detonated. How will you communicate with your loved ones in the event you cannot speak? You need to have a plan. If you believe what you have just read, then you must feel compelled to send to every concerned parent or guardian, grandparents, uncles, aunts, whatever and whomever.
The Rest Of The Pirate Story......
Just when I began to give credit to our esteemed leader for taking bold action with the Pirate/Hostage situation, I opened this email.
If you are interested in what really happened in the piracy hostage standoff this week, read the following from a friend with a lifetime in national security-related operations. I have erased the name of his personal SEAL contact as he is still on active duty and I would not want to risk career damage to him for his truthfulness.
FYI, ROE= rules of engagement, BHO=our esteemed president.
Here is the note a SEAL friend sent me (LCmdr XXXXXXXX)
================
Having spoken to some SEAL pals here in Virginia Beach yesterday and asking why this thing dragged out for 4 days, I got the following:1. BHO wouldn't authorize the SEAL teams to the scene for 36 hours, going against OSC (on scene commander) recommendation.
2. Once they arrived, BHO imposed restrictions that they couldn't do anything unless the hostage's life was in "imminent" danger.
3. The first time the hostage jumped, the SEALS had the raggies all sighted in, but could not fire due to ROE.
4. When the navy RIB came under fire as it approached with supplies, no fire was returned due to ROE. As the raggies were shooting at the RIB, they were exposed and the SEALS had them all dialed in.
5. BHO specifically denied two rescue plans developed by the Bainbridge CPN and SEAL teams
6. Bainbridge CPN and SEAL team CDR finally decide they have the OpArea and OSC authority to solely determine risk to hostage. 4 hours later, 3 dead raggies
7. BHO immediately claims credit for his "daring and decisive" behaviour. As usual with him, it's BS.So per our last e mail thread, I'm downgrading Obama's performace to D-. Only reason it's not an F is that the hostage survived.Read the following accurate account:Philips’ first leap into the Indian Ocean hadn’t worked out well. With the Bainbridge in range and a rescue by his country’s Navy possible, Philips threw him self off of his lifeboat prison, enabling Navy shooters onboard the destroyer a clear shot at his captors — but none was taken. Guidance from National Command Authority — president Barack Obama — had been clear: a peaceful solution was the only acceptable outcome to this standoff, unless the hostage’s life was in clear danger.The next day, a small Navy boat was fired on by the Somali pirates — and again no fire was returned. This was again due to the cautious stance assumed, thanks to a mandate from the commander in chief’s staff not to act until Obama, a man with no background dealing with such issues, decided that an outcome other than a “peaceful solution” would be acceptable.After taking fire from the Somali kidnappers again Saturday night, the on-scene-commander decided he’d had enough. Keeping his authority to act in the case of a clear danger to the hostage’s life and having heard nothing from Washington since yet another request to mount a rescue operation had been denied the day before, the Navy officer — unnamed in all media reports20to date — decided the AK47 leveled at Philips’ back was a threat to the hostage’s life and ordered the NSWC team to take their shots.Three rounds and all three brigands became enemy KIA and Philips was safe.There is an upside, a downside, and a spinside to the series of events over the last week=2 0.Almost immediately following word of the rescue, the Obama administration claimed victory and declared that the dramatic end to the standoff put paid to questions of the inexperienced president’s toughness and decisiveness.Despite the Obama administration’s attempt to spin yesterday’s success as a result of bold, decisive leadership by the president, the reality is nothing of the sort.
What should have lasted only hours — as long as it took the USS Bainbridge to steam to the location — became an embarrassing four day standoff between a ragtag handful of criminals with rifles and a U.S. Navy warship.
If you are interested in what really happened in the piracy hostage standoff this week, read the following from a friend with a lifetime in national security-related operations. I have erased the name of his personal SEAL contact as he is still on active duty and I would not want to risk career damage to him for his truthfulness.
FYI, ROE= rules of engagement, BHO=our esteemed president.
Here is the note a SEAL friend sent me (LCmdr XXXXXXXX)
================
Having spoken to some SEAL pals here in Virginia Beach yesterday and asking why this thing dragged out for 4 days, I got the following:1. BHO wouldn't authorize the SEAL teams to the scene for 36 hours, going against OSC (on scene commander) recommendation.
2. Once they arrived, BHO imposed restrictions that they couldn't do anything unless the hostage's life was in "imminent" danger.
3. The first time the hostage jumped, the SEALS had the raggies all sighted in, but could not fire due to ROE.
4. When the navy RIB came under fire as it approached with supplies, no fire was returned due to ROE. As the raggies were shooting at the RIB, they were exposed and the SEALS had them all dialed in.
5. BHO specifically denied two rescue plans developed by the Bainbridge CPN and SEAL teams
6. Bainbridge CPN and SEAL team CDR finally decide they have the OpArea and OSC authority to solely determine risk to hostage. 4 hours later, 3 dead raggies
7. BHO immediately claims credit for his "daring and decisive" behaviour. As usual with him, it's BS.So per our last e mail thread, I'm downgrading Obama's performace to D-. Only reason it's not an F is that the hostage survived.Read the following accurate account:Philips’ first leap into the Indian Ocean hadn’t worked out well. With the Bainbridge in range and a rescue by his country’s Navy possible, Philips threw him self off of his lifeboat prison, enabling Navy shooters onboard the destroyer a clear shot at his captors — but none was taken. Guidance from National Command Authority — president Barack Obama — had been clear: a peaceful solution was the only acceptable outcome to this standoff, unless the hostage’s life was in clear danger.The next day, a small Navy boat was fired on by the Somali pirates — and again no fire was returned. This was again due to the cautious stance assumed, thanks to a mandate from the commander in chief’s staff not to act until Obama, a man with no background dealing with such issues, decided that an outcome other than a “peaceful solution” would be acceptable.After taking fire from the Somali kidnappers again Saturday night, the on-scene-commander decided he’d had enough. Keeping his authority to act in the case of a clear danger to the hostage’s life and having heard nothing from Washington since yet another request to mount a rescue operation had been denied the day before, the Navy officer — unnamed in all media reports20to date — decided the AK47 leveled at Philips’ back was a threat to the hostage’s life and ordered the NSWC team to take their shots.Three rounds and all three brigands became enemy KIA and Philips was safe.There is an upside, a downside, and a spinside to the series of events over the last week=2 0.Almost immediately following word of the rescue, the Obama administration claimed victory and declared that the dramatic end to the standoff put paid to questions of the inexperienced president’s toughness and decisiveness.Despite the Obama administration’s attempt to spin yesterday’s success as a result of bold, decisive leadership by the president, the reality is nothing of the sort.
What should have lasted only hours — as long as it took the USS Bainbridge to steam to the location — became an embarrassing four day standoff between a ragtag handful of criminals with rifles and a U.S. Navy warship.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Why Men Are Never Depressed....!
Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Words of Wisdom....
1.Do not walk behind me, for I may not
lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do
not walk beside me either Just pretty much leave me the
hell alone.
2 .It's always darkest before dawn. So if
you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.
3.Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be
replaced, you can't be promoted.
4.Always remember that you're unique.. Just
like everyone else.
5.Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6.If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.
7.Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them,
you're a mile away and you have their shoes
8.If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is
probably not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer
all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that
person again, it was probably a wise investment.
11 If you tell the truth, you don't have
to remember anything.
12.Some days you're the bug; some days
you're the windshield.
13.Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
14.The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16.There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning
much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.
19.Never miss a good chance to shut up.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
pill and a laxative on the same night.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
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